Step 1: Resetting the mind.

For over the past year I've been living underneath someone's shadow. It's been 3 years since my ultimate life change, throughout those years I've been dipping from sea to sea, seeing what each had to offer. I became strong-headed and matured drastically. Time to time (like today) I stop to analyze where in time I am going. Questioning myself if I am living in the present, but the past continually follows like the stray cat down a distorted alley. I may have said I'm strong-headed but I am human and I constantly go into the autopilot mode of conforming. Thus my year of living in someone's shadow. The fact that I matured drastically than others has not been a good point in my life. I concluded that the girl 3 years ago you knew no longer exists, she cannot have a casual talk amongst those her age, nor carry an interesting topic without boring those around. At times it becomes intimidating and awkward. The complete semi-stuttering and lack of connection with todays "youth", makes me feel that my soul has been wondering around. Lately, the repetitive image of 3 years ago comes about. I was 14, it was my birthday and staring out into the ocean I looked at how everything landed in its place. My frontal view was an overcast ocean, my mind was shut, nothing came to thought. Behind me we're those of my past a father happily cooking and a mother casually talking, friends enjoying one another and a family whole. Even though I said I've matured, I still think I'm in that 14 year old body. Still clueless of a few adult factors and life exchanges. So to say... I've been living in a "bubble" and my escape to reach what I concluded was reality, was nothing more than someone's shadow. I gave it some thought and realized that there's a countdown being in place. I am 17 in a half, I have no money, nor a car, I need a job and this will be the last year you will see me on campus.
Step 1: Resetting the mind.
• Write down your final thoughts.
• Make a list of goals.
• Grab a tune and find a relaxing place. (Ideally Helios and a dark secluded room with Nag Champa.)
• Exclude yourself from reality

... More steps will be provided on later posts.